Durex advert

I was complimented on my daughter’s beautiful photos on Facebook today. I was told that she looks like she loves the camera, and that every pose looked so cute and picture perfect.

I felt three things:

  1. Obviously supremely proud that my offspring managed a compliment. She feels like an extension of me, so it feels like I just got a compliment.
  2. It’s never the child that ‘loves the camera’ – It’s the patient mother that loves taking photos. Believe me when I say I post approximately one out of ten photos.
  3. People without kids get lied to by society – and we as parents should stop lying, especially to the *women.

*I feel men might be more logical and less emotional, and should consequently care less about society’s lies.

We as parents should sign a declaration, that we will stop selling the idea of parenthood as a blissful, easy and a beautifully sunny journey. We will stop infiltrating the childless market with mind controlling cute baby spam. Anne Geddes should be arrested, and sent to Alcatraz. It should be called: The childless protection act.

As a mother of a two year old, Facebook should see a large portion of this:

  1. The Bodyslam – Tantrum: Back arched, blue faced, inconsolable collapse with HEAPS of noise.
  2. The Poo Picasso – The great discovery that they can paint everything/anything with their own poop.
  3. The Fob – Fake sobbing for not getting what they want, when they wanted it. The stuff that wins Oscars.
  4. The Boogerface – Ooo this one is a constant in winter. Pantones vary from 458C to 382C
  5. The Decorator – Your house looks toddlerized – Stepping on squeaky toys actually happens IRL.
  6. The Foodfight – They chuck food everywhere except into their mouths.

[Feel free to add anything I’ve missed.]

I think Durex can make an ad campaign out of this…


2 thoughts on “Durex advert

  1. Bianca says:

    Wow Ingim u have said it!!!
    That is exactly how i see it and then my other half doesn’t understand why i dont want kiddies!!! What is wrong with the men in this world?

  2. And when that is all done, enter the world of endless zipping around between after school activities, forging homework at 3am, fighting with teachers (while miss informed) and door slamming.

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