How long would I last in a zombie apocalypse.

Zombieness
I watched Zombieland recently. It is a comedy about survivors of a zombie apocalypse, looking to find a sanctuary, free from zombies. The topic has been done to death.

With Zombieland however, it was done in a witty, neurotic, pop-culture, trend setting way. I loved Bill Murray, he was awesomesauce.

The movie made me question my ability to survive a zombie apocalypse. I measured my zombie endurance level, by awarding myself a point, whenever I felt I would naturally follow a Zombieland rule:

  1. “Cardio” I need to get out more. [0]
  2. “Double tap” One of the most sensible survival rules ever. [1]
  3. “Beware of bathrooms” Female public toilets train all woman to be vigilant when using a bathroom. [1]
  4. “Wear seatbelts” Instinct. [1]
  5. “Cast iron skillet” Duel purpose – I do like breakfast food. [1]
  6. “Travel light” Even without a zombie apocalypse. [1]
  7. “Get a kickass partner” [1]
  8. “Bounty paper towels” Music festivals taught me that anti-bacterial wet wipes have more functions. [1]
  9. “Bowling Ball” [0]
  10. “Don’t be a hero”[1]
  11. “Limber up” Refer to rule #1 [0]
  12. “Avoid strip clubs” [1]
  13. “When in doubt, know your way out” [1]
  14. “The buddy system” Padi tought me well. [1]
  15. “Check the back seat” [1]
  16. “Enjoy the little things” [1]
  17. “Swiss army knife” I have a pedicure set that should do what I need it to do. [0]
  18. “Clean socks” [1]
  19. “Hygiene” [1]
  20. “Always have backup” [1]

Whoohoooo, I have an 80% survival rate – So in any zombie film, I’m pretty much the girl who gets killed just before the movie ends. Meh.

How would you do?

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12 thoughts on “How long would I last in a zombie apocalypse.

  1. Corene says:

    So I think I am on about 70% survival rate. I will be the one that gets to nervous in the end and think I am will be better off alone – and get out sooner… and by doing this, probably kill myself by accident!!! LOL

  2. I will freeze and sit in my corner and wait for all the madness to stop and then just carry on with life. I won’t be in the movie, but I might get a part in the sequel.

    • ingemm says:

      We both know, from a very fresh, “smashing” experience that we shared, that you don’t reaaaaally freeze when you get a fright.

      • Well, I do think that I will get more that just a fright…. And I will only do something if I have to, like driving away.. Otherwise I will be happy for other people to be the hero

  3. bertus says:

    I have watched every George Romero movie, I have read The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, I have spent days on end playing COD zombies and Left for Dead and all of that brought me to the realization that I would not survive 5 minutes in Zombieland 😦

  4. RV says:

    1. “Cardio” I think ill manage, plus when a hoard of hungry zombs are a chasing, your heart will be a racin, so in other words ADRENALINE BOOST. [1.5]
    2. “Double tap” Depends on your type of ammo. One well placed hollow point to the head pretty much alleviates the zombie craze, in the zombie of course. [1]
    3. “Beware of bathrooms” One of the perks of being a man, pee where you stand. [1]
    4. “Wear seatbelts” Only thing worse than a zombie, is a spietkop zombie. Click! [1]
    5. “Cast iron skillet” Mmm, what?. [0]
    6. “Travel light” Always. [1]
    7. “Get a kickass partner” Ill upgrade if need be. [1]
    8. “Bounty paper towels” Will raid the nearest PnP for similar. [1]
    9. “Bowling Ball” Pack light remember. [0]
    10. “Don’t be a hero” Is that a case of ammo in the middle of that hoard of zombs? Go Get it! [1]
    11. “Limber up” I think it will be more about the cool down after the run for your life bit. [0]
    12. “Avoid strip clubs” Ooohhh, thats a hard decision to make! [0.5]
    13. “When in doubt, know your way out” As a rule i always check for emergency exits. [1]
    14. “The buddy system” Sure, if they are still human, unscathed( read not bitten) and have behaved as good friends should. [1]
    15. “Check the back seat” Check! [1]
    16. “Enjoy the little things” Oh the sweet, sweet sound a .22 round makes when it hits a zombs head. [1]
    17. “Swiss army knife” Maybe a bit small to be able to decapitate a zomb in one go, i prefer a machete. [0]
    18. “Clean socks” Check! [1]
    19. “Hygiene” I do wash my hands after i’ve peed. [1]
    20. “Always have backup” If a bullet to the brain don’t work, chop the head of with your machete! [1]

    Survival probability – Debatable!

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