I call this the Ted Beneke:

Every time I see an area rug misbehaving, I call it a *Ted Beneke

Ted Beneke

* Ted Beneke was Skyler’s boss and President/Owner of Beneke Fabricators, a company he inherited from his father. (Breaking Bad)

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Birdcrap = saving throw +10 Good Luck?

Dungeon dice
I was minding my own business outside when, out of nowhere, I felt something weird land on my head, and then my shoulder. After careful inspection it turned out to be bird crap.

The event was followed by 10+ coworkers telling me that we should go to the casino, because bird crap equals good luck. (This is something I would say to make someone, with crap on their shoulder, feel better.)

It was a normal day at work – I didn’t win any lotteries or competitions.

My husband bought a house on auction last Friday and we decided to go there after work to start with the painting process. It needs a little TLC. I dropped my two year old daughter Leah, off at my moms place… It is nearly impossible to do any DIY things with a toddler trying to “help” you.

It was time to go home. We were both tired. The husband had man-flu, so I volunteered to pick up Leah. The new house is less than 5km’s from my moms place.

I was driving… thinking… dreaming of my new house… when traffic officers appeared in the middle of the road – torches waving. It was a roadblock, and I was being pulled over.

The traffic officer pointed his torch in my general direction, then strolled around my car to check my vehicle registration. I smiled, and tried to look calm. He strolled back and told me that my vehicle registration disk had expired. I jumped out of my car, barefoot, and looked at my license disk in total disbelief. I vaguely remembered renewing it 2 months before. He asked me for my drivers license. *Panic stations* My wallet had been stolen, with my license card in it. I knew that if I tried to explain this to the traffic officer, he would think I was pulling the oldest trick in the book. So I casually fake searched my handbag for my drivers license. (This IS most probably the oldest trick in the book)

He walked back to his car and started writing me a ticket for my expired registration disk.

With my fake-drivers-license-search, I discovered my renewed vehicle registration in my cubbyhole. Being supremely excited, I rushed over to the traffic officer and shoved it over my ticket. He nodded. “We’ll just change the ticket to: ‘Fail to display registration mark on his /her motor vehicle.'” Again, he asked me for my drivers license…

All I could think about, was how I was going to tell the 10+ casino people, that the birds at our office crap actual crap… not rainbows like the rest.

“Well I forgot my wallet at home officer” I blurted out. “And my drivers license is in it.” The traffic officer looked at me like I was in a fairly large amount of trouble. “First the registration… now the drivers license? Do you have proof of identification?” He asked. “Errr I do, but it’s in my wallet.” The traffic officer stared at me.

There I was, standing barefoot on the curb, nine o’clock at night, in shorts and a PVA-stained oppikopi t-shirt. “I’m very very sorry, I was in a hurry.”

The officer was fairly irked by now, he demanded to know why I was in such a hurry. I started rambling out of breath: “I was busy painting my new house and my mother wanted me to pick up my daughter. So I just left, because she stays fairly close and and and…” The air felt thin and dry and so did my throat.

The traffic officer stared at me some more. It felt like hours went by. Eventually he mumbled something: “I’ll give you grace tonight, you may go.”

“Really!? Thank you officer.” I got in my car and made sure he had no time to change his mind. *Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!*

While I was driving away I could not help but to think:
Birdcrap = saving throw well used! +10 Good Luck indeed.